This weekend marked the capstone of a long string of entirely diabolical weeks. Monday's speech presentation (to be posted) marked the final of my solo projects thus do, leaving only a couple group projects to worry about. I did pretty well considering how royally I screwed up. Basically, my seasonal allergies hit Sunday night, and combined with just a bit more heat than the previous nights and a curve ball weekend schedule, I had an abysmal sleep. Therefore I completely expected the overnap I took, but expecting it only made it worse. Luckily, I've made it to that class every day and on time (which is more than I can say for previous semesters), and I think that the teacher is going to overlook it. (This even includes a class period in which I wasn't even enrolled in the class.)
Before the allergies, one of the curveballs was the unannounced downing of the University's webserver that contained my Fraternity's webpage. Being still the only guy with technical knowledge of the website I made sure a backup was up by the end of that day, much as I would rather have worked on other things.
Another part of the pain of this weekend were a few awful bouts of introspection. The main one, on Saturday night, I can blame only on myself because it was partly alchohol that caused the depression and anger. I worked on my tourette's-like cursing. My 21st birthday is this coming Monday and I was thinking about how little I've accomplished. Here I am, shitty GPA, no job, and no relationships with the fairer sex. I'm at that point in my academics that the starting point is off past one horizon and the ending point I assume is past the other. It's somewhat frightening really, because I can't help but feel that I'm going nowhere really quickly. People keep telling me that it will all be worth it in the end, but I can't even find a decent internship now.
Basically, my 21st birthday is seeming really anti-climactic. I can't really say that these last three years have been all that productive and it doesn't really feel like things are going to take off from here.
With that said, today I've been sitting outside on a park bench reading, and today is a brighter day with less stress, less pressure, and less immediate needs. My big decision today is what to ask my mom for my birthday present. Let other worries handle themselves for a few more days.
I did get something good out of this awful weekend. Apparently I've ended something of a minor creative drout. Sunday night, when the sleep escaped me, I finally walked through some of the ending of one of my longer standing short stories. I've been rather tight-lipped about this particular short story because I've yet to ask for the permission to post it (it has elements derived from a CC-licensed work with the no-derivatives clause). I'm hoping to do so after I complete the story. For those curious the working title has been "Captain Thaddeus McRaven", and I have a finished title in mind which derives from the title of the original work. (That I could share because titles can't be copyrighted, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up just yet.)
I'm still trying to come up with a good name for the protagonist of my "novel" so that I can get started on the first section. I'm still not certain whether I should go first or third person, either. Probably a good time to work on my third person skills as most of the recent stuff I have done is first person with protagonists similar to myself (particularly Meta-War, which was supposed to be myself). Since I'm feeling generous, the current title for the first section is "Thor Wishes You a Happy Holiday".